Funniest Monkey Jokes

Why don't monkeys play cards in the jungle?
There are too many cheetahs there!

Where do monkeys get their gossip?
Through the ape vine!

What key won't open any door?
A mon-key!

Why do gorillas have such big nostrils?
Because they have big fingers!

What kind of a key opens a banana?
A monkey!

Why did the monkey like the banana?
Because it had appeal!

Where does a baby ape sleep?
In an apricot!

What did the banana say to the monkey?
Nothing, bananas can't talk!

What do monkeys do for laughs?
They tell jokes about people!

What do you call a monkey with a banana in each ear?
Anything you want, it can't hear you!

What did the monkey say when he cut off his tail?
It won't be long now.

Where should a monkey go when he loses his tail?
To a retailer!

What should you bring to a party in the jungle?
Chimps and dip!

What do monkeys wear when they are cooking?

What do you call a monkey with a wand?
Hairy Potter!

Where does a 2,000 pound gorilla sit?
Anywhere it wants!

What do you call a 2,000 pound gorilla?

What do you call an angry monkey?
Furious George!

What kind of monkey flies?
A hot air baboon!

What do you call a monkey with a banana in each ear?
Anything you want… he can’t hear you!

What do you call a monkey that sells potato chips?
A chipmunk!

Why did the giant ape climbe up the side of the skyscraper?
The elevator was broken!

Where do chimps get their gossip?
On the ape vine!

If you were in a jungle by yourself and a gorilla charged you, what would you do?
Pay him.

If twenty monkeys run after one banana, what time is it?
Twenty after one!

How do you catch a monkey?
Climb a tree and act like a banana!

How do monkeys get down the stairs?
They slide down the banana-ster!

Why did the chimpanzee cross the road?
Because he had to take care of some monkey business!

What is smarter than a talking monkey?
A spelling bee!

What side of a monkey has more hair?
The outside.

What do you call a Monkey in a tree?
A Branch Manager!

What do you call a Monkey in a garden?
A Plant Manger!