What do you call a pile of kittens?
a meowntain

Why don't cats like online shopping?
They prefer a cat-alogue.

What do you call a flying cat?
I'm-paws-sible.

What did the cat say when he lost all his money?
I'm paw!

Did you hear about the cat who swallowed a ball of yarn?
She had a litter of mittens.

Who are cats going to vote for in November?
Hillary Kitten.

Why did the cat wear a dress?
She was feline fine.

What do you call the cat that was caught by the police?
The purrpatrator.

How do you get a wet pussy?
Put it in the shower.

Why did the cat put the letter "M" into the fridge?
Because it turns "ice" into "mice"!

What is smarter than a talking cat?
A spelling bee!

Why was the cat sitting on the computer?
To keep an eye on the mouse!

What is the most breathless thing on television?
The Pink Panter Show!

What did the cat say when he lost his toys?
You got to be kitten me.

What is a cat's favorite color?
Purrrple!

What do you get if you cross a chick with an alley cat?
A peeping tom.

What did the alien say to the cat?
Take me to your litter.

What do you get if you cross a cat with a bottle of vinegar?
A sourpuss!

Do you want to hear a bad cat joke?
Just kitten.

Why shouldn't you kidnap the kitten, Keanu?
Because curiousity killed the cat burglar.

What do you get if you cross a cat with a dark horse?
Kitty Perry

There were 10 cats in a boat and one jumped out. How many were left?
None, because they were copycats!

What do you call a cat in a station wagon?
A car-pet

What is a French cat's favorite pudding?
Chocolate mousse!

What looks like half a cat?
The other half!

What do you call a cat that wears make up?
Glamourpuss.

What do cats like to read?
Cat-alogues!

What do you call a cat that gets anything it wants?
Purrr-suasive.

What do you call a cat who just ate a duck?
a duck-filled platy puss.

What is the cat's favorite TV show?
The evening mews!

What is a cat's favorite dance move?
The Purr-colator.

Why was the cat scared of the tree?
Because of its bark.

What do you feed an invisible cat?
Evaporated milk.

What's worse than raining cats and dogs?
Hailing taxi cabs!

How is cat food sold?
Usually purr can!

What's the unluckiest kind of cat to have?
A catastrophe!

Who was the most powerful cat in China?
Chairman Miaow!

What do you get if you cross a cat with a tree?
A cat-a-logue!

What do you call a cat race?
A meowathon.

What kind of sports car does a cat drive?
A Furrari.

What do you get when you take a Kitty Kat to the tailor?
Bad Blood.

Why did the cat get pulled over by the police?
Because it "littered"

What do you call a cat with eight legs that likes to swim?
An octopuss!

Why did the cat join the Red Cross?
Because she wanted to be a first-aid kit!

When the cat's away.....?
The house smells better!

What is a cats favorite vegetable?
As-purr-agus.

Did you know that cats designed the great pyramids of Giza?
It was all drawn out on paw-pyrus.

What's the difference between a cat and a frog?
A Cat has nine lives but a Frog croaks every night!

Did you hear about the passenger who had to be escorted off the airplane?
She let the cat out of the bag.

Why are cats so good at video games?
Because they have nine lives!

What's a cat's favorite button on the tv remote?
Paws

Did you hear about the cat that thought she was a dog?
She was purr-plexed.

What do cats like to eat on sunny days?
Mice cream cones!

What do you call Long John Silver when he has a cat on his shoulder?
A purr-ate!

What do you call a cat that smells good?
prrrr-fume.

Did you hear about the cat who wanted to learn how to bark?
Curiousity killed the cat.

How do the Vietnamese like their soup?
Purrrrrfect.

What is a cats favorite kitchen tool?
The "whisker".

What do you call a cat that lives in an igloo?
An eskimew!

What is a cats favorite book?
The prince and the paw-purr.

What did the cat say to the dog?
Check meow-t!

What do you call a cat on ice?
One cool cat.

Cat: "You're not real!"
Nyan Cat: "At least I have a sparkly rainbow butt."

What is a cats favorite musical instrument?
Purr-cussion.

What do you call a cat that can address the media?
a Press Kit.

What do cats wear at night?
paw-jamas!

What time is it when ten cats chase a mouse?
Ten After One.

What do you call a cat that does tricks?
A magic kit.

What do you call a painting of a cat?
A paw-trait

What do you call a cat when it is huge?
A MEOW-SIVE CAT

What do you call a cat that can't stop licking itself?
Purrr-verted.

What do you call a cat that can put together furniture from Ikea?
an Assembly kit.

Why did the cat go to the river?
Claws it wanted to.

What's grumpy cat's favourite ride at Dreamworld in Australia?
The Paw!

What do you call a cat that doesn't use the litter box?
A pet project.

What do you get if you cross a cat with Father Christmas?
Santa Claws!

What kind of car does a fat cat drive?
a Catillac!

Why was the cat so small?
Because it only ate condensed milk!

What's the first thing you say to a cat?
HELLO KITTY!

What do you need to get a fast cat to use the litter box?
Quicksand.

What was the special offer at the pet store this week?
Buy 1 Cat get 1 Flea!

What does a cat say when somebody steps on its tail?
Me-ow!

How do you make cats furry?
The spin cycle.

Did you hear about the cat that climbed the Himilayas?
She was a sher-paw.