Penguin Jokes
What do you give a sick penguin?
Tweetment.
What’s black, white and red all over?
A penguin with a sunburn.
Did you hear the joke about the broken egg?
Yes, it cracked me up.
Why don’t you see penguins in Britain?
Because they’re afraid of Wales.
Where does a penguin go when it loses its tail?
A re-tail store.
Which side of a penguin has the most feathers?
The outside.
What is even smarter than a talking penguin?
A spelling bee.
What does an evil penguin lay?
Deviled eggs.
Why did the penguin cross the road?
It was the chicken’s day off.
Where do penguins go to the movies?
At the dive-in.
What do you get when you cross a penguin and an alligator?
I don’t know, but don’t try to hug it!
Why did the penguin cross the road twice?
To prove he wasn’t chicken.
What did the penguin say after he went shopping?
Put it on my bill.
When a penguin has no money, what does it tell the waiter?
Put it on my bill.
What do you call a cold penguin?
A Brrr-d.
Who’s the head of the penguin navy?
Admiral Byrd.
Why are penguins good race drivers?
Because they’re always in the pole position.
What’s a penguin’s favorite salad?
Iceberg lettuce.
Where do penguins go to dance?
The snow ball.
How do you get down off an penguin?
You don’t – you get down off a duck.
What do penguins wear on their heads?
Ice caps.
What’s black and white, black and white, and black and white?
A penguin rolling down a hill.
What do penguins drink during the summer?
Iced tea.
Where does a penguin keep its money?
In a snow bank.
Why did the penguin cross the road?
To go with the floe.
What do penguins have for lunch?
Icebergers.
How does a penguin make pancakes?
With its flippers.
What do you get when a penguin lays an egg on a hill?
An eggroll.
Who’s the penguin’s favorite Aunt?
Aunt-Arctica.
What do penguins sing at a birthday party?
Freeze a Jolly Good Fellow.
What did the polar bear say to the penguin?
Welcome to the zoo! (FYI: polar bears and penguins don’t naturally live near each other)
What do penguins eat for lunch?
Ice burg-ers.
How does a penguin build its house?
Igloos it together.
How do penguins drink?
Out of beak-ers.
What do you call fifty penguins at the North Pole?
Really lost, because penguins live in the Southern Hemisphere.
Why do penguins carry fish in their beaks?
Because they don’t have any pockets.