Snake Jokes for Kids

Snake cartoon

Read these snake jokes with a friend, your family or your class. Pause after each question and see who can guess the playful answer.

Jokes to read aloud

How do you measure a snake?
In inches. They don't have any feet!

What do you call a snake that builds things?
A boa constructor!

Why don't snakes need to weigh themselves?
Because they have their own scales.

What is a snakes favorite dance?
The Mamba!

What kind of snake keep its car the cleanest?
A windshield viper!

What snake is a member of the band?
The RATTLEsnake!

What do you get when you cross a snake and a pie?
A PIE-THON!

What did the naughty little diamondback say to his big sister?
Don't be such a rattle-tail!

Did you hear about the snake love letter?
He sealed it with a hiss.

In which river are you sure to find snakes?
The Hiss-issippi River!

What do you call a snake who works for the government?
A civil serpent!

What did the snake give to his wife?
A goodnight hiss!

Why did the snake laugh so hard she started to cry?
She thought the joke was hisss-terical!

What's the wrong time to reason with a snake?
When it's throwing a hissy fit.

What is the most popular snake dialect?
Boomslang!

How do snakes make up after a disagreement?
They hiss and make up.

What is a snake's favorite subject?
Hiss-tory!

What's a snake's favorite school subject?
Math, because it's an adder!

Pick a favourite joke. Which word makes the answer surprising? Say the word slowly and explain the joke to a partner.