Where do horses get their hair done?
Maine.

What kind of bread does a horse eat? 
Thoroughbred

What do race horses eat?
Fast Food.

Why did the horse cross the road? 
Because somebody shouted hay!

What do you call a scary female horse?
A nightmare!

What type of a computer does a horse like to eat?
A Macintosh

What do you call a horse that can't lose a race?
Sherbet

How did the cowboy ride into town on Friday, stay for three days, and ride out on Friday? 
His horse's name was Friday!

Did you hear about the horse with the negative altitude?
She always said Neigh

What is the best type of story to tell a runaway horse?
A tale of WHOA!

What street do horses live on?
Mane St.

What did one horse say to the other horse?
The pace is familiar but I can't remember the mane.

How do you make a small fortune in the horse industry?
Start with a large fortune.

How does a horse from Kentucky greet another horse?
With Southern Horspitality!

When does the person living next to you get annoying?
When he is NEIGH-BORED.

What do you call a boy named Ryder who likes to ride a horses back?
Horse Back Ryder.

What is a horses favorite state?
Neighbraska.

When do vampires like horse racing?
When it's neck and neck.

What did the momma say to the foal?
Its pasture your bedtime

What did the waiter say to the horse?
I can't take your order. That's not my stable.

What's the quickest way to mail a little horse?
Use the Pony Express.

Where do you put 2 horses that just broken up?
In the pasture

What do you call a well balanced horse?
Stable.

What kind of horses go out after dusk?
Nightmares!

Why did the horse cross the road?
Because it wanted to see its neighbors!

Why are most horses in shape?
Because they are on a stable diet.

What did the horse say when it fell? 
I've fallen and I can't giddyup!

Did you hear about the blonde water-polo player? 
His horse drowned 

What is a young Colts favorite sport?
Stable Tennis.

How does a winning jockey communicate with his horse?
He lays his cards on the stable.

What did the teacher say when the horse walked into her class? 
Why the long face?"

What do you ask a sad horse? 
Why the long face?

What did the mare tell her filly after dinner?
Clear the Stable.

What do you call a horse that lives next door? 
A neigh-bor! 

What kind of horse likes to be ridden at night? 
A nightmare! 

Where do horses go when they're sick? 
The horsepital! 

Where do horses shop? 
Old Neigh-vy! 

Why don't racehorses wear underwear?
Because it rides up on them!

Why did the horse eat with its mouth open? 
Because it had bad stable manners!

How does a cowboy get a stallion to do odd jobs around the farm?
Pay him under the stable.

Why do horses like to fart when they buck?
Because they can't achieve full horse power without gas.