Where does a tiger sleep?
Anywhere he wants to!

If a four-legged animal a quadruped and a two-legged animal is a biped, what's a tiger?
Stri-ped.

What happened when the tiger ate the comedian ?
He felt funny!

What does the tiger say to his friends before they go out hunting for food ?
'Let us prey.'

What do you get if you cross a tiger with a watchdog ?
A terrified postman!

What's the difference between a tiger and a lion ?
A tiger has the mane part missing

What is tiger's favorite food ?
Baked beings!

How does a tiger greet the other animals in the field ?
'Pleased to eat you.'!

On which day do tiger eat people ?
Chewsday!

Why don't tigers like fast food?
Because they can't catch it!

What is the fiercest flower in the garden?
A tiger lily!

Whats striped and bouncy?
A tiger on a pogo stick!

What flies around your light at night and can bite your head off?
A tiger moth!

Why did Tigger look in the toilet?
He was looking for pooh.

What does Calvin feed Hobbes?
Nothing he's already stuffed.

What's a tiger running a copy machine called?
A copycat!

Why did the tiger loose at poker?
Because he was playing with a cheetah

Why are tigers religious?
Because they prey frequently, and prey as a family!

How are tigers are like sergeants in the army?
They both wear stripes!

What do tigers sing at Christmas?
Jungle bells!jungle bells!

What do you call a tiger that likes to dig in the sand?
Sandy claws!

How do tigers describe themselves?
Purr-fect!

What do you get when you cross a tiger and a snowman?
Frost-bite!

Would you rather have a tiger eat your or a lion?
I would rather have a tiger eat a lion.

Why can't a tiger become a herbivore?
A tiger can't change his stripes.

On which side does a tiger have most stripes?
On the outside.

Who went into the tigers den and came out alive?
The tiger.

What do you get if you cross a tiger and a sheep?
A stripey sweater.

What's striped and goes round and round?
A tiger in a revolving door.

What 4 animals does a woman need in her life?
A mink on her back, a jaguar in the garage, a tiger in her bed and a jackass to pay for it all.

What's the silliest name you can give a tiger?
Spot.

How do you take a tiger's temperature?
Very carefully!

Why do tigers always eat raw meat?
Because they don't know how to cook.