The cows have wandered away from the barn and into the joke book. This collection mixes dairy wordplay, calf-sized silliness and a few cows with surprisingly strong opinions about lunch.

Funny cow jokes

Why did the cow put a bell on its bicycle?
Its moo wasn't loud enough for traffic.

Why did the calf take a pencil into the field?
It wanted to draw its own conclusion about grass.

What did the cow write on its moving boxes?
Handle with dairy.

Why did the cow cancel its gym membership?
It was getting plenty of calf raises at home.

Why did the cow bring a suitcase to breakfast?
It heard the milk was going on a trip to the cereal bowl.

What did the cow say about the very long fence?
That's a lot of posts for one field.

Why did the cow become a librarian?
It was good at keeping the volume down to a gentle moo.

Why did the cow need a new calendar?
The old one was pasture its date.

Why did the cow stare at the smoothie menu?
It couldn't believe milk had so many plans for the afternoon.

What did the calf say after learning a new dance?
I've got the moo-ves; now where do these hooves go?

Why did the cow put curtains around the milking stool?
It wanted a little dairy privacy.

Why did the cow turn down a trip to the moon?
It wasn't ready for that much space between meals.

Short cow puns

  • Please hold: your moo is important to us.
  • A field trip is just a trip for everyone else.
  • Today is a bring-your-calf-to-work day.

More animal jokes

Keep going with pig jokes, goat jokes, sheep jokes, or browse all animals.