Friendly cartoon cow with a pink nose on a blue circle

Read these cow jokes with a friend, your family or your class. Pause after each question and see who can guess the playful answer.

Jokes to read aloud

Why do cows have hooves instead of feet?
Because they lactose.

Why did the cow get promoted?
It was outstanding in its field.

Why did the cow cancel its gym membership?
It was getting plenty of calf raises at home.

What did the cow write on its moving boxes?
Handle with dairy.

What do you call a sleeping bull?
A bulldozer.

Why did the cow need a new calendar?
The old one was pasture its date.

Why did the cow stare at the smoothie menu?
It couldn't believe milk had so many plans for the afternoon.

What did the calf say after learning a new dance?
I've got the moo-ves; now where do these hooves go?

Short animal puns

  • Please hold: your moo is important to us.
  • A field trip is just a trip for everyone else.
  • Today is a bring-your-calf-to-work day.

Try the wordplay

Pick a favourite joke. Which word makes the answer surprising? Say the word slowly and explain the joke to a partner.

Choose another animal or find classroom activities for teachers.

Meet more barnyard characters in our farm animal jokes for kids.